Only in Japan...
...can the hardest, most evil gangsta mofo's strut around like cocks of the walk, looking tougher than tough (and with a beautiful girl on the arm) while wearing a flaming pink sparkly jacket with a huuuuge happy Disney character on the back.
...can you barf on the train and be forgiven by everyone on it because you're drunk (note: this only works if you're Japanese...besides which, foreign people wouldn't do such a thing in the first place)
...do the bus drivers (read: bus slave) mandatorily attach microphones to their mouths and announce every move they make as if it was direly important to the disinterested, apathetic, and silent (unless there are foreigners on the bus...then they make a lot of noise) passengers. When rounding corners, the bus slave will say something like "Please be careful, the bus is making a left had turn". Good thing he told me, otherwise I probably could have hurt myself (I mean, the bus does travel at speeds in excess of 15 miles per hour in Japan...sometimes). Or as the bus pulls into a bus stop, one is liable to hear "We're stopping now", as if the deceleration of the bus wasn't enough of a hint that a stoppage of forward motion was imminent.
...can the toughest dudes in the school wear makeup, pluck their eyebrows, and sit on each others' laps playing with each others' hair...these are the 'badass' kids.
...are the playgrounds at the school made entirely of coarse gravel...grass is only found at foreign embassies. The kids apparently don't seem to mind though. Except when they fall down.
...are cellphones used for everything (and I really mean everything) EXCEPT talking on the phone (I can read barcodes, pay bills, send email, watch TV, play video games, record music, and surf the internet...and I purposely got the crappiest phone I could buy...however, it costs equivalent of about a dollar a minute to make local calls on my phone)
...are there stores where you can go and pay money to pet cats (there is nothing else in the store)
...are there signs that say "No peeing allowed here" on the sides of buildings
...can you barf on the train and be forgiven by everyone on it because you're drunk (note: this only works if you're Japanese...besides which, foreign people wouldn't do such a thing in the first place)
...do the bus drivers (read: bus slave) mandatorily attach microphones to their mouths and announce every move they make as if it was direly important to the disinterested, apathetic, and silent (unless there are foreigners on the bus...then they make a lot of noise) passengers. When rounding corners, the bus slave will say something like "Please be careful, the bus is making a left had turn". Good thing he told me, otherwise I probably could have hurt myself (I mean, the bus does travel at speeds in excess of 15 miles per hour in Japan...sometimes). Or as the bus pulls into a bus stop, one is liable to hear "We're stopping now", as if the deceleration of the bus wasn't enough of a hint that a stoppage of forward motion was imminent.
...can the toughest dudes in the school wear makeup, pluck their eyebrows, and sit on each others' laps playing with each others' hair...these are the 'badass' kids.
...are the playgrounds at the school made entirely of coarse gravel...grass is only found at foreign embassies. The kids apparently don't seem to mind though. Except when they fall down.
...are cellphones used for everything (and I really mean everything) EXCEPT talking on the phone (I can read barcodes, pay bills, send email, watch TV, play video games, record music, and surf the internet...and I purposely got the crappiest phone I could buy...however, it costs equivalent of about a dollar a minute to make local calls on my phone)
...are there stores where you can go and pay money to pet cats (there is nothing else in the store)
...are there signs that say "No peeing allowed here" on the sides of buildings
posted by -Jubei- at 10:57 PM
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